Waking up to bitter people on Facebook is not my idea of a good Friday.
My brother gave me a calendar-diary last year that has a different question for every day of the year for 5 years. Every year on January 8, July 4th, and December 1, I answer the same question I answered last January 8, July 4th and December 1. One of last week's question was 'What do you want to forget?'. It struck me that if I wanted to forget it, why would I write it down so I could reread it every year? Then I got on Facebook and saw no less than 4 people 'honoring' a painful anniversary. Not necessarily a death in the family, mind you, but situations where someone had hurt them. One status (paraphrased) read something that sounded like this: 'A year ago you broke my heart, destroyed me forever and taught me not to care anymore. But I'm here to tell you that moved on, I am a stronger person and I will never, ever care about people like you again.'
Admittedly, I desperately wanted to comment, Really? You moved on, huh? Tell me about that.
But this girl didn't need me to remind her of her journey through this painful memory. It was still with her like it happened yesterday. Why do we dwell on these horrible, painful relationships? Why do we hold on to hurt? For years? I want to suggest a very simple, cut and dry answer. I think we hold on to hurt because we think so little of ourselves, we assume that's where we belong.
If we know who we are in Christ, we know that we were not created to abide in pain. Christ accepts the broken pieces of our hearts, but then he puts them back together. As one of my pastors at Zootown used to say, He cleans His fish after He catches them. When Jesus opens His arms to us messy and hurting with ugly cry face, He never, EVER intends to leave us that way. So why do we insist on staying that way? How many times are we Barabbas on the steps of Pilate's palace, watching them take our chains off and put them on Jesus and we shout out, 'No! I deserve those chains! Give them back to me!' Because we don't believe Him when He says IT IS FINISHED.
I didn't unfriend this girl when I read her post. I tried to be 'that good Christian', but my prayer definitely began with 'Father, why do I have to stay friends with this person? She is such a downer on my news feed.' A few possible answers that came to mind were God's simple longing to hear me talk to Him about it (because I firmly believe God will put opportunities in our lives to force us to pray if He knows the only way we'll talk to Him is when something is literally standing in our way) or better yet, to provide a chance for Him to act in response to prayer. 2016 is only 36 days old, but I'm learning now more than ever that God has so much waiting for us if we would only ask Him for it. ASK and you will receive. SEEK and you will find. These are not suggestions, you guys. If we honestly ask Him to soften our hearts toward others, that is not a prayer I see God turning down. I think we can confidently say He would give us that every single time. Similarly, when we ask God to comfort the brokenhearted, to heal the pain of the past, to clean His fish, He is sure to deliver. Because sanctification, redemption and healing are His nature, not just towards me, but towards all his children.
It is never, ever my job to clean God's fish, especially to my standards of 'clean'. Jesus took that job while He was on the cross - He finishes His good work in His good time in a manner that is on no level determined by me. I don't have the right to selfishly do His job any more than I have to criticize my friend for her bitterness. But on the off chance He ever does ask me to be a vessel for comfort or an instrument of healing, I'm really, really glad He gave us a manual in His Word. Cleaning fish is a messy business and if you can do anything else with your life, I recommend that.
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