Judgement.

"Don't judge me."

We've all said it. And we all still do it. Somebody cool once pointed out to me that the 'flaws' we judge the most harshly in others are the ones we expect the most mercy for in ourselves. I'm pretty sure s/he was absolutely right.

Somebody else cool told me that when we say Don't judge me, what we really mean is, Don't disapprove of me. Scotty Klaudt of Zootown Church once spoke a truth that changed my worldview forever. He said, No matter what any of us say, none of us are truly afraid of judgement; we're afraid of a verdict.

You see, honey, there's a difference. Judgement is considering the situation; applying a verdict is labeling it. As Christians, the Holy Spirit imparts on each of us His discernment. When we examine ourselves (or others) and discern (or judge) an action, desire, or thought process, what we're actually doing is considering its value or truth in light of Scripture. The gift of discernment and the wise use of it are key to our sanctification, aka the process by which the Holy Spirit (not our own actions) makes us more like our Savior. Without it, we are stagnant, stationary Christians. Sanctification is a key chapter in the Grand Narrative of our salvation. If we miss that chapter, we only have part of the story and with only part of the story, we only have part of a Christian, which is no Christian at all (citation nod to Ravi Zacharia's radio broadcast last Sunday).

What I'm trying to say is that judgement is more important to our spiritual, emotional and physical health than we care to admit. It's essential. Discernment is essential. Balancing what we see in others and ourselves with Scripture...is essential. And the beautiful fact is, when we balance what we see and feel against the real truth of Scripture, we'll discover that we're not comparing our faults, flaws or shortcomings to a list of rules. We're comparing it to what always, ALWAYS comes between the Christian and the Verdict and that's Grace. Hear me very clearly, dear friends: Judgement is essential not for making us 'better' Christians, but for receiving the grace that always accompanies it for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I want to take this thought one step further for us girls. Especially for women (I can't speak for men), I completely, totally, 100% believe that the Christian's discerning eye is turned more often towards ourselves than to others. We are our own worst critic, ladies. And what's the Christian lingo for that? Conviction. When we sense something 'bad', or 'unholy' or 'imperfect' in ourselves, we often feel a sense of something we call Conviction. And like Judgement, we tend to take a leap from Conviction to something more final: Condemnation.

BUT WE DID IT AGAIN!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?! WE MISSED GRACE!!!!

Paul tells us in Romans 8 that there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! Do you see it, ladies? When we examine others and ourselves, we have a tendency to skip grace both times. I said before that characteristics we judge harshly in others are the ones for which we demand the most grace. But I think as women, the opposite is also true; the characteristics we judge harshly in ourselves can be the ones we most easily forgive in others. And in both cases, we miss the grace that is desperately needed. In both cases, we miss the very thing that judgement was passed in order to reveal.

For Christians, the truth of grace HAS to win. Matthew West's song Grace Wins spells this out beautifully:

There's a war between guilt and grace.
We are fighting for a sacred space.
And I'm living proof
Grace wins every time.

The most beautiful part of this chorus is that the war isn't between grace and sin, it's grace and guilt. As humans, sin is inevitable. As women, guilt is most often self-inflicted. And as Christians, grace ALWAYS comes before the Verdict.